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Monthly Archives: January 2012
Let me start this blog by saying I have been “chubby,” “heavy,” since I was 5 years old, I have never known what it is like to be thin, well there was this time in college when I got thin, but I didn’t see it, I still saw that chubby face staring back at me in the mirror. Now that I look at pictures of myself during that time, I looked great, I felt great, I remember how wonderful I felt then. I just wish I would have noticed, would have appreciated how great I looked and how wonderful I felt at the time.
Fast forward to now and 2 pregnancies later, I am ready to get serious about losing this weight once and for all. I am tired of being the fat mom, I was teased terribly because of my weight as a child, I am convinced it is why I became so shy and sheltered, never letting anybody in.
I want to be outgoing, happy and healthy. I have started and failed a dozen diets, you name them I have tried them, from Slim Fast to Jenny Craig and everything in between. It’s sort of embarrassing for me to write about this, but I guess it can’t hurt, there are lots of people who are in my shoes right? Anyway so what makes it different now, what am I going to do to change my physical being?
Well I have started back at the gym slowly but surely, taking ZUMBA classes which I love. Let me state that I do no have any kind of rhythm, so these classes are a bit challenging for me, but I try and I just keep moving. I also ordered myself some Leslie Sansone’s Walk Away the Pounds videos, it’s an in home walking system since I can’t get out much. So all that with eating to the Weight Watchers Points System will help me shed this weight for good. I have lots of support from my husband who is also trying to lose some weight, my son and daughter both like to watch and talk to me while I am exercising, so every little bit helps. I will use Wednesdays to write about my weight loss challenges and hope you will be inspired and maybe learn a thing or two along with me.
My tip for Tuesday is be happy. Smile a little, turn that frown upside down and laugh. There is saying that “Life is not a dress rehearsal,” and it is so true. We only get just one chance at living a happy life, and it is all what you make of it. If you spend your days wallowing in self pity and surrounded by negative thoughts then you are not allowing happiness into your life. I feel I fall into this trap often and find that I have to keep reminding myself of how great this life can be. I know it can be hard especially when you are surrounded by negative people in your life.
All over the internet there are people who are choosing one word to describe how they want their lives to be in 2012. I had a hard time with this because there are so many words I would choose, but if I had to just choose one I think it would be happiness. I just want to be happy in my life, happy in my own skin, happy doing what I am doing in this moment, isn’t that all any of us really want anyway, just to be happy. I want to use this year to accomplish a lot of things, but with all of those things I must continue to count my blessings and be happy for all that has happened in my life thus far.
I guess my tip is to look at your life and realize all the wonderful things that you have to be happy about, don’t sweat the small stuff and do things that make you happy. I realized that going to the gym makes me happy last night, getting there that’s a whole other story but once I am there and doing something for myself it makes me happy that I am taking a little time just for me. Just being with my little family makes me so happy, we have been stuck in the house since my daughter was born so it has been very hard but I try to love all the moments I have with her. When my son comes home from school I love to sit with him and help him with his homework, because I know that soon enough he ill not want my help anymore. So my tip for today is find something you love, do something that makes you happy today. Happy Tuesday everyone.
Methinks/Mindboggling Monday
Well I haven’t been blogging everyday. So I have been trying to come up with some ideas to get me blogging everyday so I decided to dedicate each day of the week to something different to keep it interesting. Depending on what I am feeling that week the topics may change a bit. I am also trying to spread the word about my blog because I just want to raise awareness about Down Syndrome, and to get people out to the events that help raise awareness for this disorder, so if you can spread the word and share my blog with others and get them to start following me that would be AWSOME!!!
Methinks/Mindboggling Monday (what I am thinking or going through that week)
Tips for Tuesday (whether it’s a product I like or something I think would benefit you)
Weightloss Wednesday (my neverending attempts to lose weight and get in shape)
Thoughtful Thursday (thoughts for the day, or how to do something nice for someone else)
Friends and Family Friday (I will blog about my friends and family)
Soups on Saturday (My favorite recipes)
Spontaneous Sunday (I will write about anything and everything, whatever topic comes to mind)
I have thus far treated my baby girl just as that, my baby, my little girl, my happy little angel. The Down Syndrome hasn’t even really been an issue to me. Her needing heart surgery was the hurdle we had to overcome and then we would deal with everything else. So what is everything else you ask? Well I am still trying to answer that question for myself. Am I in denial that my baby has this disorder? Some might say yes, some might say no. For right now I just feel like she is my baby girl no different from my little boy. I guess we have not really ventured out into the world as of yet so I don’t know how the world is going to react to her and that frightens me. I just want to keep her in my arms safe and warm forever, but I know that is not possible. Everyone that meets her, has fallen in love with her, has been taken in by her happienss, by her bright almond eyes and her cheery smile. She is only 5 months old and can light up a whole room, with her smile and her giggles.
I do not know what Down Syndrome has in store for us, but so far she is doing remarkable. She is gaining weight, rolling over, cooing, laughing, holding things, doing a lot of things they said she may never do or not do until she is much older. She is determined, she is happy, she is sweet, she is my baby and I guess that is all that really matters.
Sometimes I sit and wonder though, am I doing enough for her, what else can I do, what else should I be doing? Is Early Intervention enough? Should I be doing more? I know she is still so little, sometimes I think the more I do for her the better off she’ll be.
1977
Yearly Inflation Rate 6.5%
Year End Close Dow Jones Industrial Average 831
Interest Rates Year End Federal Reserve 7.75%
Average Cost of new house $49,300.00
Average Income per year $15,000.00
Average Monthly Rent $240.00
Cost of a gallon of Gas 65 cents
Bikini$9.00
BMW 320i $7990.00
I was born on this day in 1977,born 6 weeks early, I wasn’t supposed to thrive, I wasn’t supposed to make it, I wasn’t supposed to live but I guess God had greater plans for me than anyone knew at that time. Now that I think about it I wonder if it is all really true, are we put here on this earth, born so that we may in turn repay this world with some gift or purpose. What is my purpose, was it to be a teacher for a short while, was it to be a mother to my son, was it to be a mother to my daughter., a wife to my husband. They all need me but in different ways. I always wonder about what is the meaning of my life, why am I on this earth and as I get older I ponder the question more and more. I was an only child, after almost losing me, they didn’t want to try for another one, I guess.
I was painfully quiet and shy and my childhood was pretty lonely most of the time. As I have grown I have realized that I am who I am and I am probably never going to change but in certain aspects of my life I would like to. So this being my 35th birthday, I am going to look forward to this new year and whatever life is going to throw at me, I am stronger, and braver than I have ever been in my life and I finally believe that I can do anything that I put my mind to.
3 more days until I turn 35 and I realized I don’t even have any plans to do something special, nor do I ever on my birthday, it’s just another day right? What do you do for your birthday? I have hinted to my husband at least 500 times since I turned 30 that I would love a birthday party( a real party, with decorations, music, dancing, food, cake, lots of people) but it usually never happens, okay well he was going to throw me one last year and I found out about it and told him not to do it. Mostly because it was so last minute, like 1 week before last minute (and I knew noone was going to come so last minute, so I didn’t want to be disappointed when noone showed up), you need months to plan a good party, at least I do when I plan my son’s parties, I have already started planning my daughter’s first birthday. I am thinking 35 is a big year and I have been through sooo much this past year that I deserve to do something fun, since there won’t be a party. But what to do? Maybe I will go shopping, or get a haircut or out to dinner or all of the above. I guess every year I have these big plans and big hopes but every year they never happen. I guess birthdays should be just for kids anyway.
Well since my birthday is on Monday I would have to do something this weekend, I most likely will finish organizing my craft space and stay home all weekend taking care of my lovies. I guess it is nice to just dream about doing something I normally wouldn’t do.
There is an essay they give you when you are in the hospital and have just given birth to a baby with Down Syndrome, it’s called Welcome to Holland by Emily Kingsly. It is a beautiful essay that describes what having a special need child is like. You plan this fabulous trip to Italy(plan to have the perfect baby) but when the plane lands the pilot announces “Welcome to Holland.”(having a baby with Down Syndrome). It’s not what you wanted, not what you imagined it would be, you think you will never be able to do it, never be able to understand, but then you realize all of the wonderful things about Holland, the windmills, the tulips all so breathtaking, just like you realize what a blessing your child with Down Syndrome is.
My husband and I read this when we got home from the hospital with our daughter and it was so helpful and enlightening to us both. Last night my husband gave me a gift, probably the most wonderful, most thoughtful gift he has ever given me. He said it was a late Christmas gift from our daughter. It was a windmill charm for my bracelet.
This gift was so wonderful, so thoughtful and I will cherish it always because I am more happy and thrilled to be in “Holland” than I ever thought or imagined I would be.2011 was a cruel and blissful year all tied up in a neat little bow. Life came to an end, life was renewed, love was regained, trust and capabilities were tested. 2011 will always be one of the years that I remember most, the year that helped me to realize the person I am, and the person I want to become. I have never been one to make resolutions, or if I did make one, I never kept it. Well this year it is simple for me, it just seems so effortless. Be a better mom, be a better wife, a better daughter, a better niece, a better aunt, a better cousin, a better friend, just be a better me. This year is 2012, I will be turning 35 in about 1 week, and I want to do all I can this year to be a better me, 365 days worth of discovering who I am and what the rest of this life has in store for me.
I carry with me the scars of years past but only as a rememberance of who I have become because of those scars and what this life will enable me to become because of the bruises and the battles I have endured.
I am humbled by 2011, only to stand my ground in 2012 and not let the bitterness, the hatred, the unhappieness of others taint my world. I will move on to a better tomorrow, not letting in any of the negativity or misery. I will make time for me, make time for the people I love, make time for friends, for having fun and enjoying life and all it has yet to show me.
I will continue to watch my children grow and learn and play and love, I will submerge myself in all the good, crazy, creative, fun, things that this year will bring. I will make a conscious effort to be silly and to play and to go away and experience things. I will break out of my comfort zone, I will do things I have never done before. Why is this year different? I know for sure that my daughter has given me a new outlook, a new horizon, a new life to behold and I will not waste it, I will enjoy it and thrive on all the new experiences we have to look forward to. So here is to a better me in 2012, may I be all that I can be, physically, emotionally, and mentally. To 2011, thank you for humbling me, thank you for giving me my beautiful baby and showing me how to be a better mother to my children.
